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Make Your Point > Archived Issues > DEFERENTIAL

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pronounce DEFERENTIAL:

DEFF uh REN chull
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connect this word to others:

The word deferential appears in a line from one of my favorite poems, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," by T. S. Eliot:

"No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use..."

It seems to me like the speaker is downgrading himself to a minor character in his own life. Someone who defers to others and helpfully carries the plot along, then fades, respectfully, into the background.

At the heart of the words defer and deferential is the Latin ferre, meaning "to bring, to carry, or to bear." We see ferre in tons of other English words, like confer; offer; refer; suffer; transfer; fertile; conifer; circumference; different (literally "carried apart"); prefer (literally "to carry in front"); v___ferous ("loud, allowing the voice to be carried far and wide"); and i_fer__tial ("based on reasoning, as if by carrying bits of information inward"). Can you recall those last two words?

(To reveal any word with blanks, give it a click.) 

definition:

The word "defer" has Latin bits that literally mean "to carry down," or "to carry away."

To defer something can mean to put it off until later, as if you're nudging it further away from you: "The couch we like is too expensive, so let's defer the purchase until a sale comes along."

And to defer to someone else, or to defer to someone else's advice, wisdom, opinion, judgment, or authority, is to respectfully turn to that person and do what they say, as if you're carrying the matter away from yourself, handing it off politely to the person who ought to be in charge: "I don't know much about car repairs, so if a mechanic tells me I need to get this and that done, I'll defer to my dad's judgment." That's the meaning of "defer" that we'll focus on.

Turn it into a noun, and you get "deference," another word for "respect," especially the kind in which you respect someone else's authority or judgment.

Turn that into an adjective, and you get "deferential." Deferential people and things are the kind that politely, respectfully acknowledge someone else's authority or judgment.

grammatical bits:

Part of speech:

Adjective: "a deferential attitude;" "His tone was deferential."

Other forms: 

The noun is "deference," as in "She spoke with deference toward her parents."

And the adverb is "deferentially," as in "He listened deferentially to his boss."

how to use it:

"Deferential" is formal, serious, and semi-common.

Pick it when you want to emphasize that someone is being respectful and courteous as they acknowledge someone else's greater knowledge or authority.

Talk about deferential people and their deferential expressions, comments, attitudes, and other behaviors. Or, say that someone is deferential to someone else: "I always thought college students should be deferential to their professors, so it shocked me when a classmate called our professor by her first name."

examples:

"An accomplished businesswoman employed by Federal Express in Tokyo, Yasuko didn't fit the meek, deferential stereotype of a middle-aged Japanese woman." 
— Jon Krakauer, Into Thin Air, 1997

"'Charming, charming,' murmured the Director and, giving her two or three little pats, received in exchange a rather deferential smile for himself." 
— Aldous Huxley, Brave New World, 1932

has this page helped you understand "deferential"?

   

Awesome, I'm glad it helped!

Thanks for letting me know!
If you have any questions about this word, please message me at Liesl@HiloTutor.com.




study it:

Explain the meaning of "deferential" without saying "respectful" or "obedient."

try it out:

You might read in the news how some young politician is deferential to the older politicians in the party. Or how some group of lawmakers is deferential to some lucrative industry. Or how some corporation is deferential to some trend or movement in social justice. Or how some social media giant is deferential to some authoritarian government.

You might get the impression that being deferential is awfully manipulative. And it can be, but it can also be genuine.

Talk about a public figure or a company that you think is acting deferential toward some other person or group. Does this deference strike you as phony or genuine, and why?




before you review, play:

Try to spend 20 seconds or more on the game below. Don’t skip straight to the review—first, let your working memory empty out.

Our game this month is "It Sounds Wiser in Latin."

Longtime readers will recognize this game. It's back, with fresh new (okay, mostly ancient) Latin idioms!

Try matching a handful of Latin phrases to their English translations. If you need some clues, I'll provide them in the form of definitions of related English words. For example, the clue "Something anguine reminds you of a snake" could help you determine that "Latet anguis in herba" means "A snake hides in the grass."

You can see the answers by scrolling to the bottom of the issue. 

Try these today:

1. Bellum se ipsum alet.
2. Dum vivimus, vivamus.
3. Gutta cavat lapidem.
4. Ignavum fortuna repugnat.
5. Mater artium necessitas.

A. A drop hollows out the stone.
B. Fortune disdains the lazy.
C. The mother of craft is necessity.
D. War will feed on itself.
E. While we live, let us live.

To peek at the clues, follow the links:

   1. Something antebellum takes place...
   2. Something lapidary is...
   3. To impugn or oppugn something is to...

review this word:

1. The opposite of DEFERENTIAL is

A. INSOLENT: showing an inappropriate lack of respect.
B. OPULENT: impressive because it's so fancy or so abundantly full of good things.
C. REDOLENT: having a nice smell, especially one that reminds you of something in particular.

2. In Patrick Rothfuss's The Name of the Wind, one character says to another "_____," with a deferential nod.

A. I'm in your debt
B. We are more than the parts that form us
C. You need to be a bit of a liar to tell a story the right way




Answers to the review questions:
1. A
2. A

Answers to the game questions:
1. Bellum se ipsum alet. = War will feed on itself.
2. Dum vivimus, vivamus. = While we live, let us live.
3. Gutta cavat lapidem. = A drop hollows out the stone.
4. Ignavum fortuna repugnat. = Fortune disdains the lazy.
5. Mater artium necessitas. = The mother of craft is necessity.


a final word:


I hope you're enjoying Make Your Point. It's made with love.

I'm Liesl Johnson, a reading and writing tutor on a mission to explore, illuminate, and celebrate words.


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A disclaimer:
When I write definitions, I use plain language and stick to the words' common, useful applications. If you're interested in authoritative and multiple definitions of words, I encourage you to check a dictionary. Also, because I'm American, I stick to American English when I share words' meanings, usage, and pronunciations; these elements sometimes vary across world Englishes.

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